I met Carol through an online dating website and we decided to go swing dancing for a first date. I told her that I was a sales representative selling construction products and she said she was in law enforcement, working for a local police department. I asked her if she was a policewoman, and she said due the nature of her position on the force, she couldn't reveal to me, what she exactly did.

So we decided to meet outside the dance hall. As I approached the street corner, there was only a short, fat, dumpy gal, sitting on the bus bench. After waiting 10 minutes and exchanging glances with her, I approached her and asked if she was Carol, and she said yes. I was saddened and confused, for she was not 5'10' as was indicated on her online profile. She said that was an error and that she was only 5'0'.

We walked across the street and got a bite to eat, except for her, the word eat, meant 'drink'. As I polished off a hamburger and plate of french fries, she guzzled down four cosmopolitan drinks and was a bit shit-faced by the time we entered the dance hall.

I asked her about her position in the police department, and under the influence of alcohol, she confessed that she was just a citizen, employed by the police department, and worked in the evidence room, cataloging evidence from crime scenes.

She was so intoxicated, she couldn't hold her own and stumbled like a fool on the dance floor. Her speech was slurred and wreaked of booze. She asked me to buy her a drink and I told her to get lost, and she promptly did, walking out the front door, never to be seen or heard from again.